It Must Stop!

Taylor: And then I turned into John Lennon.

Taylor: Not the Honey Bucket!

Tauna: Think of every animal that gives milk, turn that milk into cheese, and put it on a pizza, and that's what it is.
Taylor: You can really taste the platypus.

TeaTime: KILL HER WITH THE PIG!

Megan: Just swirling around in my hamburger buns. Watch me sin!

Tauna: Your hands are so cold!
Taylor: Those are NOT my hands!

Justin: There are toppings on the bottom.
Matt and Justin: They're bottomings!

Oh Matthew

Gwen: Yeah I pretty much just sat on the bathroom floor.
Matt: Um...what?
Gwen: When I was sick. I sat on the bathroom floor.
Matt:...
Gwen: Sat, Matt. I sat on the floor.
Matt: Oooh! I thought you said 'shat.'

Why??

Gwen: Ooh, he's cute. OK, you may date him.
Tauna: No you can't! I decide who she gets to date!...You may date him.

Oh Tauna...

I'll be quiet. Who am I kidding? That's never gonna happen!

Know what's better than Spanish homework? Racist Truck!

We Love Tauna

I was going to say something but I thought better of it. Look at me! Using a filter. -Tauna

Anyways, back to necrophilia...That was a beautiful segue!

Definitely Dodgy

Adam: We await with baited breath.
Liesl: Baited breath smells fishy.

A Mobile Bush. And More Shenanigans.

Good news! I I walked through a bush today. -Tauna

Tauna: Just scream if you're being raped and we'll take note of it.
Taylor: Noted!

Tauna: The extra twist is for extra fun.
Taylor: Eternity with a twist!

Chris: She's the one with her foot on the gas.
Tauna: Why does she have a foot on her ass??
Chris: It's not MY foot!

Shenanagins

(Simultaneously)
Tauna: No groping!
Gwen: I don't want it in my pants!

Booty Call!

Q: Why do we need to dress modestly?
A: Because if boys can see it, they can touch it!
-Taylor's Sister

"Holy crap! It's on FIRE!"
-Taylor

"Is that the past tense of wink?" -Katelin

"Damadoo"-Kelly

Gwen: It's cultural illiteracy!
Amber: But we're not British.

Gwen: I'm shocked!
Katelin: What, that you're weird?

Taylor: Maybe her butt called you?
Kelly: Yeah, you're her booty call!

Dang, these girls are funny.

Tauna: Make me a sammich, woman!

Taylor: Why do people think they can say that to me?

Tauna: You work at Subway!

Tauna: (Sitting on the couch, making car noises)

Taylor: Wait, where are you going?!

Scary Movies etc.

Think of the scariest thing you can think of, then double that scariness and fill in the gaps with a scary magic marker, then put that in a scary space ship and shoot that into the depths of scary space, then close your eyes and use that as a reference. -Tauna

That's the kindergarten playground of scary movies. -Taylor

Michael Fassbender should never not be wearing a turtleneck. -Tauna

Saw is torture porn. We don't do torture porn. -Tauna

"Oh my Gwen..." -Lauren

"Damn you sandwich bag..."-Someone? It was taped in the quote book.

Now Roommates...

Kick it to Hell, you jack wagon!

Introducing...The Scarlet L!

Hey friends! You guys say funny things, but unfortunately not all of you are Blanchards (or closely related), and so do not fit comfortably into Blanchards Overheard. So I'm starting a blog just for you. So, I welcome you to The Scarlet L! AKA the Quote Wall, AKA "It All Started With a Sperm..." Enjoy!


Tauna: We'll have to to warn the boys in the ward that this one is taken.
Taylor: We'll mark her with a scarlet L.
Tauna: FOR LESBIAN!


Matt: (A heavy metal band name) MONICA'S BALLS!

Rachel and Monica team effort: GWEN'S BUTT CHEEK PATTIES!

Quick note: I will be adding quotes from my Cedar people, so check back!